All has gone downhill...18/01/2015 | 00:48

For the past few weeks, I've been feeling...I really can't explain it. My life has been stacked with piles and piles of problems that seem almost impossible to fix. On top of that, I've had to fake a smile, fake my happiness, fake everything in order to avoid the dreadful "are you okay?". I fear those 3 words because I know for certain that I will break down as soon as I hear them.

I'm not happy. My life is quite messed up at the moment. Why is "moment" in bold and underlined, you ask? I know that one day I can cross out "messed up" and replace it with "amazing", it doesn't even have to be "amazing", I just want an "okay".

One day...

One day, we will love

One day, we will get what we deserve

One day, we will be noticed

One day, we will meet our soul mates

One day, we will find happiness

One day, just one day.

Late Night Bother

It's quite easy to tell if someone is avoiding you. I mean, it's pretty obvious. It just sucks when you realise they're avoiding you. You rewind and think back on what you could've said or did that made them begin to avoid you. You try not to think about it. "It's their loss", you whisper to yourself. You try to forget about it and move on. But...it's still in the back of your mind. It bothers you and you know it.

Thought of the Day

Ever have that feeling of just not being good enough? No matter how hard you try, you're just disliked. By strangers. By family. By "friends".

I get that a lot. And...it sucks, my friend. Especially when you try. Especially when you're constantly trying to change yourself.

If I were to say this to any human being alive, they would tell me to "always be yourself". That's easy to say but difficult to do. It's a trait of mine to be a "people pleaser", I can't help it.

I'm slowly not giving a shit as I progress through my teenage years. It's a lot easier to live like this. That way, it's not me hoping for a text back, it's finally the other way round.